Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
