I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
