That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
