you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
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Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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