also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think my moral compass just broke
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
