I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Randomize
