my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
