Heybabeimwearingurpanties
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
