Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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