i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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