I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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