carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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