is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
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