chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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