I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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