Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
