I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
