They should really pass out barf bags in church
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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