Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
did you just send me my own nude
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
