Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
