All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
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It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
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I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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