Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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