a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
