How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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