So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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