apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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