so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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