I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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