I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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