I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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