i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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