Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
