you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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