I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
