margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
