apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
