you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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