I've blown a few things in my day
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
can u get pink eye on your cock?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
