it hurts more in the daytime
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize