I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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