I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
