Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
