I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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