hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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