i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
