How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
