I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
