i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
