My underwear smells like fireworks.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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