i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
