So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
