i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
