so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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