I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
