Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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