you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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