I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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